Tomorrow is Jack's fourth podiatry follow up appointment. He's had one weekly since he was discharged from the pediatric ward, to be honest I was a little naive in thinking this ordeal would be completely over by now. I know healing takes time, but I wish it were all over already.
I'm fighting myself not to become so overly cautious of Jack, that I smother him, or hold him back from being a typical 13 month old because I'm worried he'll further hurt his foot. I wish I could say " Oh when it's all over, I'll relax" But I'd be lying if I did. This is a long process - You can't have a month like we've had, and then just fall back into your normal routine.
I've always been cautious, and aware of Jacks scratching ( from his eczema) I've always done everything in my power to keep him from hurting himself during one of his scratching fits. I've always been cautious and wary of germs, especially where my baby is concerned.
This ordeal has put me on edge, I'm terrified of not catching him scratching in time ( while he sleeps..etc ) Of letting him play anywhere that I myself havent cleaned before hand ( playgrounds etc ) I am utterly terrified and feel hopeless to the fact that he got this bug with me doing everything I could to keep him safe, so what stops it from happening again? I find myself paranoid at even the slightest hint of warm-ness to his body, over the smallest bit of redness to his skin, and immediately and frequently check to see if it's hot to the touch..all the while secretly saying to myself " please , don't let him get sick again"
March 6 through the 16th tested every strength I had as a mother. It tested Jack's strength just the same. - Our strength to endure, and heal, and move on from this. .. I hope we pass.
Tomorrow I hope ( as I have for every appointment thusfar) that Jack is healed enough to go home, as himself. even though I know it's going to make me a nervous wreck when the boots, and the dressings, and the casts are all gone
3 comments:
Just remember to breath!! Things happen for a reason...
i never get that saying. what would be a good reason? I'm sure there is no reason why I needed to become familiar with MRSA in a 13 month old lol
Well, in that case, things happen :P cant argue that one! Well you could, but that's on a whole other level im not sure my brain can handle.
I'll definitely be happy when he's back to having to normal feet. But you're right about being worried about it happening again. We can't even know what made it happen this time :/ that makes it hard to avoid without covering everything
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