June 09, 2010

Ten

I cannot wrap my mind around the fact that I’ve been the mom of this guy for 10 years now. A whole decade! I will spare you the usual ” It feels like just yesterday you were…..” comments, but that’s all I’m promising. I had Jon a month before I turned 16 and even though it was definately not the perfect situation I remember never having wanted anything more than I wanted him. Was I scared? A little. (And by little I mean a lot) Being in charge of another human beings life is something worth being scared of. I spent the first 3 months of his life crying, nearly as much as he did – between colic, and just feeling overwhelmed at new motherhood. Those are situations out of our control though.



Jon himself made being his mother so easy. He was smart, and laid back, would play for hours on his own quietly might I add, and he never required me to be in his presence every second of the day. Not to say there weren’t any ups and downs, but the downs as few and far between as they were never affected the overall pleasure of mothering this boy. I could spend a lifetime wondering what would be different for myself had I waited to have him, If I had made different decisions - I’ve daydreamed a different life/outcome a million times and even in my daydream, my life without him would never have been as full and rewarding as it is right now. I could spend the exact amount of time wondering if I had been older, and wiser if Jon would’ve been better off, if he would’ve grown into a better person, had an easy life if you will. Then a stranger tells me how polite, or funny, or articulate my son is, and I know it, and in an instant I know that I did the best job I could at being his mother at a young age, and that despite my worries, and the situation, He’s my greatest accomplishment.

Happy 10th Birthday Jon. You’re a good kid, and I should know – we grew up together.

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